Who We Be (Black Men's Mental Health Lens)

Oct 14

6 min read

Poster of DMX in dark red and black, with text: WHO WE BE & BLACK MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH; raw, somber mood and city silhouette.

Let's talk about it.

When DMX released Who We Be, he wasn't just describing street life. He was holding up an X-ray of what happens inside people who are expected to survive in places that rarely let them feel safe.

Listen closely and the song moves like an inventory of pressure: poverty, violence, policing, incarceration, addiction, grief, loyalty, judgment, faith, family. And underneath all of it, the daily fight to stay human when the world has already decided who you are.

That was X's gift. He could sound like he was ready to go to war while revealing something painfully tender. Beneath the growl was fear. Beneath the anger was grief. Beneath the toughness was a man asking to be understood without having to soften his truth first.

And that, my friends, is exactly where this conversation about Black men's mental health begins.

When Anger Is the Only Feeling That Feels Safe

So many of our Black boys learn early that sadness makes them look weak, fear makes them a target, and asking for help can be used against them. Anger becomes the one emotion that feels safe, because it creates distance and offers protection.

But anger is rarely traveling alone. Very often, it's carrying:

Unprocessed grief
Abandonment
Shame
Trauma
Exhaustion
Fear
The weight of having to provide
The impossible tension of being seen as dangerous while feeling completely unprotected

DMX let all of those feelings live in the same body. He could be furious, afraid, faithful, wounded, loving, and self-destructive all at once. That matters, because Black men are so often denied the freedom to be emotionally complicated. They're handed one script and expected to stick to it.

Survival Mode Can Look a Lot Like Strength

Who We Be captures the hypervigilance of always watching your back, bracing for betrayal, and waiting for the next crisis to land.

Here's what I want us to understand: when survival mode becomes a lifestyle, rest starts to feel irresponsible. Peace feels unfamiliar. Vulnerability feels dangerous. And even when life gets better, the nervous system keeps preparing for a threat that may no longer be there.

That's how a Black man can show up strong, productive, and dependable while quietly carrying depression, anxiety, trauma, loneliness, or numbness.

Strength does not always mean someone is well.

Sometimes strength is simply the performance required to make it through another day.

X Saw the System, and He Named It

DMX understood something we still struggle to say out loud: you cannot separate a person from the conditions that shaped him.

We can't have an honest conversation about Black men's mental health without talking about racism, economic pressure, over-policing, incarceration, community violence, inadequate healthcare, childhood trauma, and the unspoken expectation that Black men will endure all of it without breaking.

Research backs this up. Black men often face real barriers to care, including expectations around masculinity, racial discrimination, distrust of the medical system, and a shortage of culturally responsive treatment. Many Black men and boys who have been exposed to trauma are still walking around with mental health needs no one has met.

Too often, the behavior gets judged before the wound is ever examined. So let's change the questions we ask:

Instead of "Why is he so angry?" ask, "What happened to him?"
Instead of "Why won't he communicate?" ask, "Has anyone ever made it safe for him to?"
Instead of "Why didn't he get help?" remember that many Black men were taught that needing help could cost them their respect, their freedom, their job, their relationships, or their sense of control.

This is what I mean when I say Articulate. Don't Accommodate.™ We can't keep accommodating a silence that is hurting our men. We have to give them the language, and the room, to say what's real.

His Honesty Didn't Fix Everything, but It Helped Others Feel Seen

DMX never pretended to be fully healed. He showed us the war between faith and pain, power and powerlessness, accountability and addiction, right out in the open.

That honesty didn't make his life any less complicated. But it gave words to people who had never heard their inner battles spoken aloud. That's why his music still matters.

It reminds us that vulnerability doesn't always come in quietly. Sometimes it barks. Sometimes it curses. Sometimes it sounds confrontational, because the person speaking has spent a lifetime fighting just to be heard.

Our Black men deserve spaces where they don't have to perform toughness before they're offered tenderness. They deserve culturally responsive therapy, community, brotherhood, and rest. They deserve the chance to talk before the pain becomes a crisis.

The Question I'm Leaving With You

The real question isn't just "Why was DMX hurting?"

It's this:

How many Black men are still communicating their pain through anger, isolation, addiction, overworking, or silence, because we haven't created a safe place for them to say, "I am not okay"?

Sit with that. Then let's do something about it.

"Healing cannot commence without acknowledgment of the issue, a desire for change, and openness to learning how to address it."

Watch the video: DMX's official video for Who We Be places him inside a prison cell, reinforcing the song's themes of confinement, judgment, and identity. The track appears on his 2001 album The Great Depression. [Check out the video here.]

Resources for Men's Mental Health

If something in this post stirred something up for you, or for a man you love, please don't sit with it alone. Here are places to start.

If you need help right now:

1. 988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineCall or text 988 for free, confidential, 24/7 support during a mental health, emotional distress, substance use, or suicide-related crisis.988lifeline.org

2. Veterans Crisis LineFor veterans, active-duty service members, National Guard and Reserve members, and those who love them. Call 988, then press 1, text 838255, or chat online.veteranscrisisline.net

3. The Trevor ProjectFree, confidential, 24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ young people, including boys and young men. Call 1-866-488-7386, text START to 678678, or chat online.thetrevorproject.org/get-help

4. SAMHSA National HelplineCall 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for free, confidential, 24/7 information and referrals for mental health and substance use treatment.samhsa.gov/find-help/helplines/national-helpline

Finding therapy and treatment

5. FindTreatment.govA confidential, anonymous national directory of mental health and substance use treatment facilities across the U.S. and its territories.findtreatment.gov

6. NAMI HelpLineEmotional support, information, and resource guidance. Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or text HELPLINE to 62640. (Note: this is not a crisis line.)nami.org/nami-helpline

7. NAMI Support GroupsPeer-led support groups for people living with mental health conditions and for their families, caregivers, and loved ones.nami.org/support-groups

8. Mental Health America Screening ToolsFree, confidential online screenings for depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, substance use, and more. (Screening results are not a diagnosis.)screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools

9. United Way 211Call 211 to find local therapists, support groups, treatment programs, and community services.211.org/get-help/mental-health

Created specifically for men

10. Man TherapyStraight-talk information and tools for depression, anxiety, anger, grief, relationships, and more.mantherapy.org

11. HeadsUpGuysMen's mental health information, depression self-checks, free self-guided courses, recovery stories, and a therapist directory.headsupguys.org

For Black men and men of color

12. Therapy for Black MenA directory to help Black men and other men of color find therapists by location, specialty, therapy type, and insurance.therapyforblackmen.org

13. Black Men HealCulturally responsive therapy, psychoeducation, community resources, and virtual group support for men of color. (Free individual therapy depends on location, eligibility, and program capacity.)blackmenheal.org · Apply for therapy

14. Boris Lawrence Henson FoundationCulturally relevant mental health resources, a provider directory, and wellness programs for Black, BIPOC, and underserved communities.borislhensonfoundation.org

In an emergency: If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. For an emotional or suicidal crisis, call or text 988.

"Being able to articulate your feelings, wants, needs, and desires is the best way to advocate for yourself and the people that you love. This all starts with a conversation."

Loveli xoxo 💋

Loveli BrownHolistic Mental Health Advocate | Author | Relationship Recovery & Confidence Rebuilding Coach | Host of the Healing Through Conversations Podcast | Founder of LoveliEsteem, LLC

📲 @loveliesteem · loveliesteem.com · healingthroughconversations.com · linktr.ee/loveliesteem 📅 Let's schedule a time to talk!📚 Check out our books and journals