Hypervigilance Is Not Anxiety, It’s Survival Wisdom

There’s a quiet exhaustion that many Black women carry.

It doesn’t always look like panic.

It doesn’t always announce itself as fear.

Sometimes it just feels like always being “on.”

Always reading the room.

Always listening for tone shifts.

Always preparing for what might happen next.

That state has a name: hypervigilance.

And before we pathologize it, I want to tell the truth about it.

Hypervigilance is not a flaw.

It is not weakness.

It is not you being dramatic or “too much.”

Hypervigilance is survival wisdom.

When the Body Learns Before the Mind

For many Black women, hypervigilance didn’t come from imagination, it came from lived experience.

We’ve watched the news.

We’ve scrolled social media.

We’ve seen harm normalized.

We’ve witnessed people who look like us be threatened, dismissed, ignored, and killed.

We’ve also experienced betrayal closer to home, by systems, by workplaces, by relationships, and sometimes by the very people who said they loved us.

So the body learned.

It learned to stay alert.

It learned to scan environments.

It learned to read emotional shifts before words were spoken.

It learned to stay ready, because readiness felt like safety.

This is not anxiety.

This is adaptation.

The nervous system operating at the height of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, not because it wants to, but because it believes it has to.

The Cost of Always Being Ready

What protects us in danger can exhaust us in peace.

When hypervigilance stays active too long, it shows up in the body:

Tight jaws and shoulders

Shallow breathing

Fatigue that sleep doesn’t fix

Headaches

A nervous system that doesn’t fully power down

It also shows up emotionally:

Difficulty relaxing

Guilt around rest

Emotional numbness or overwhelm

Constant anticipation of disappointment or harm

Many Black women don’t call this stress.

They call it “just how I am.”

But here’s the truth:

You didn’t come into the world tense.

Your body learned this to keep you alive.

Wisdom That Stayed Too Long

Hypervigilance is wisdom.

It’s the lesson that got refined, perfected, and repeated so it could be passed on, to our children, our partners, our communities.

“Be careful.”

“Watch your tone.”

“Pay attention.”

“Stay ready.”

Sometimes we pass it on gently.

Sometimes urgently.

Sometimes harshly, because we’re scared of what could happen if we don’t.

That doesn’t make us wrong.

It makes us protective.

But wisdom does not need to run your life forever.

Healing begins when we stop shaming the vigilance and start asking a different question:

Does my body still need to live this way today?

Teaching the Body Something New

Healing hypervigilance is not about forcing yourself to relax.

It’s about teaching the nervous system safety in real time.

Sometimes that looks like:

Placing your feet on the floor and noticing the room you’re in

Taking a slower exhale than inhale

Unclenching your jaw without judgment

Naming what’s true right now instead of what might happen

These are not small things.

They are acts of re-education for a body that learned survival early.

Rest doesn’t mean danger.

Stillness doesn’t mean you’re unprepared.

Softness doesn’t mean you’re vulnerable to harm.

It means your body is learning it doesn’t have to stay on guard forever.

You Are Allowed to Stand Down

If you’ve been living in constant readiness, I want you to hear this clearly:

You are not broken.

You are not weak.

You are not failing at healing.

Your body adapted brilliantly.

And now, you are allowed to choose something different.

You are allowed to rest without guilt.

You are allowed to feel safe without explanation.

You are allowed to soften without losing yourself.

Hypervigilance helped you survive.

But peace gets to be part of your story too.

A Gentle Question to Sit With

Where do you notice hypervigilance showing up most in your life right now?

In your body?

In your relationships?

In your work?

In your rest?

There’s no wrong answer, only awareness.

And awareness is where healing begins.

If this resonated with you, I talk more about this in my podcast episode: “Navigating Hypervigilance: Understanding Its Impact on Black Women.”

🎧 Listen or watch on your favorite platform here:

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for listening to your body.

And thank you for choosing yourself, one breath at a time.

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Loveli xoxo 💛