top of page

Exploring Feelings, Emotions, and Boundaries, Oh My!

Exploring Feelings, Emotions, and Boundaries

By: Loveli Brown

In the journey of self-discovery and personal growth, the art of exploring feelings, emotions, and boundaries stands as a beacon of enlightenment and empowerment. The foundation of advocating for oneself is built upon the ability to articulate one's feelings, wants, needs, and desires. This profound journey begins with a conversation—a conversation with oneself, with loved ones, and with the world at large. It's a dialogue that requires courage, honesty, and vulnerability, but the rewards it yields are immeasurable.

Understanding and expressing emotions can often feel like navigating a labyrinth; it's complex and sometimes daunting. However, when we start to peel back the layers of our emotions, we allow ourselves to understand our true selves better. This process of introspection helps us to identify what truly matters to us, what triggers our reactions, and how we can effectively communicate our boundaries. Boundaries, in this sense, are not barriers to keep people out, but rather guidelines that help us maintain our well-being and respect in relationships. They are essential in creating healthy dynamics where every individual’s needs and feelings are acknowledged and valued.

Moreover, the act of articulating our inner experiences does more than just advocate for our needs; it fosters deeper connections with others. By openly sharing our feelings and desires, we invite others into our world, creating a space for empathy, understanding, and mutual respect. This vulnerability, while often seen as a risk, is actually a strength that has the power to bridge hearts and minds. So, let us embrace the wisdom in Loveli xoxo’s words and embark on this enriching path of self-advocacy through conversation. By doing so, we not only honor our own needs and desires but also contribute to a more compassionate and understanding world.

In the spirit of encouraging everyone to better articulate their feelings, wants, needs, and desires as a form of self-advocacy, it becomes essential to navigate the delicate terrain of our emotional landscapes, especially when we find ourselves burdened with someone else's feelings. This journey begins with self-reflection and sincere questioning. Here are seven pivotal questions to ask yourself when you take on someone else's feelings:

What am I really feeling right now? Start by identifying your own emotions separate from the other person's. Are you feeling empathetic, overwhelmed, anxious, or perhaps a mix of many feelings? Recognizing your emotional state is the first step in understanding how much of what you're feeling is yours versus what may be an empathetic response to someone else's situation.

Why am I taking on these feelings? Reflect on the reasons behind your emotional response. Is it a natural tendency to empathize deeply, a fear of seeing someone you care about in distress, or perhaps an unconscious attempt to fix their problems? Understanding your motivations can help you navigate your feelings more effectively.

How is this affecting my well-being? Consider the impact of taking on someone else's emotional burden on your own mental and emotional health. It's vital to assess whether this empathy is causing you undue stress or anxiety and whether it's sustainable in the long run.

What are my boundaries? Identifying your emotional and mental boundaries is crucial. Ask yourself what you're willing and able to handle. It's okay to recognize that you have limits to what emotions you can absorb from others and how much you can assist them.

How can I support them without compromising my well-being? Think about ways to be supportive that don't require you to take on the other person's emotional load. This could involve listening, offering resources, or simply being present without trying to solve their problems for them.

What do I need to let go of? Sometimes, we hold on to the belief that we must carry others' emotional burdens as our own. Ask yourself what fears or beliefs might be holding you back from setting healthy emotional boundaries.

How can I communicate my needs and boundaries effectively? Finally, consider how you can express your feelings, needs, and boundaries to the person whose emotions you're taking on. This conversation is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship and ensuring that you're not overwhelmed by someone else's emotional state.

Taking on someone else's emotions can be a profound demonstration of empathy and connection. However, it's essential to navigate this process with self-awareness and care. Here are seven questions you should ask yourself before embarking on this emotionally charged journey, inspired by the wisdom of approaching conversations with openness and self-advocacy in mind.

Exploring Feelings, Emotions, and Boundaries. Oh My!

What is my current emotional capacity? Before you take on someone else's emotions, it's crucial to assess your own emotional state. Are you feeling resilient and grounded, or are you already overwhelmed by your own feelings? Understanding your emotional bandwidth will help you determine whether you have the capacity to support someone else effectively.

Why do I want to take on this person's emotions? Reflect on your motivations. Are you trying to help because you genuinely care and want to support the person, or are you driven by a sense of obligation, a desire to be needed, or another reason? Ensuring your intentions align with your values and emotional well-being is key.

How well do I understand what they're going through? Empathy requires more than just good intentions; it demands an understanding of the other person's experience. Consider whether you have enough context and insight to truly empathize with their emotions or if you might need more information to support them effectively.

What boundaries do I need to set? Boundaries are essential in any supportive relationship. Think about what limits you need to maintain your well-being while supporting someone else. This might involve setting time limits on discussions or specifying topics you're not equipped to handle.

How can I maintain my own well-being while supporting this person? Supporting someone emotionally can be draining. Plan ways to replenish your energy and maintain your mental health, whether through self-care practices, setting aside time for activities you enjoy, or seeking support from others.

What support can I realistically offer? Be honest with yourself about the type and amount of support you can provide. This might range from being a listening ear to offering practical help. It's important to communicate this clearly to the person you're supporting to manage their expectations.

How will I know if I need to step back? Finally, consider the signs that might indicate you need to take a step back, such as feeling emotionally overwhelmed, resentful, or burned out. Identifying these signs early can help you take action to protect your well-being and ensure you can continue to offer support in a healthy way.

Being able to articulate your feelings, wants, needs, and desires starts with a conversation—first with yourself, and then with others. This self-reflection is a profound act of self-advocacy and a step toward emotional resilience and well-being.

Remember, taking on someone else's emotions is a significant act of love and compassion. By asking yourself these questions, you can approach this responsibility with the care, respect, and self-awareness it deserves, ensuring that you're advocating for both yourself and the person you're supporting.

Loveli Brown


Healing Through Conversations Podcast

"Being able to articulate your feelings, wants, needs, and desires is the best way to advocate for yourself. This all starts with a conversation". Loveli xoxo


bottom of page